Sometimes, whether you’re part of a couple or not, the way to get on the road (or in this case, on the water) is to just do it, without waiting for the “right” time. That’s what Emily and Adam of Two Get Lost have done, and they’ve been sailing around Europe for the past year, getting to know each other and themselves a little better every day. Here they’re sharing what their unconventional, liberated life together has taught them about being a successful travel couple.
What’s your story?
I met Adam on a sunny day in May. We shared a picnic beside a lake, and talked for hours about running away from the lives we had to travel the world. For our second date we booked cheap flights to Spain for the weekend, and stayed on board a sailboat. We realised then that we’d found something special.
Fast forward 6 months and we were talking semi seriously about quitting work and leaving the UK. After careful consideration we decided maybe it wasn’t right for now, we should focus on our ‘careers’ and become more financially stable. Adam helped me prepare for a job promotion I was desperate for and I worried about how unhappy he was with his London commute. On a rainy Monday morning I called Adam in tears, I didn’t get the job.
When I arrived home that evening, ready for a long bath and lots of ice cream, Adam was stood popping open a bottle of fizz. ‘We’re celebrating’ he declared. I looked at him, confused. Had he not been listening to our earlier conversation? ‘To the beginning of our adventure’ he toasted. We would never be financially ‘stable’. Why wait?
We both dreamed of travelling the world under sail, for the freedom and adventure it would bring. So we decided if we were going to do this we should do it properly, we should buy ourselves a sailboat, learn to sail and embark on the adventure of a lifetime! We bought our 38ft sailboat last year and have been sailing Europe ever since.
Do you have the same travel style or different travel styles? How does this impact your adventures together?
We have a very similar travel style, which has worked perfectly for us. We both love adventure, whether that’s scrambling for two hours around a rocky headland to reach a secluded beach we’ve seen on google maps, or trekking through the jungle in search of creatures. We aren’t keen on sitting around and ‘relaxing’ while we travel. We both get too restless.
In the past I’ve found it hard to travel with people who like to take things easy while they’re away. Either they get fed up with me wanting to explore all the time, or I get fed up of lying by the pool.
The only problem with travelling with someone who is always on the move is that there is no one forcing you to stop for a bit. We try to take this into account, and make time for days to read and relax. We’ve learnt through experience that getting over tired does not make for a good relationship!
What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned from traveling as partners? What makes your partnership work on the road?
Now that we travel together 24/7 in such a tiny space, we have definitely had to fine tune our relationship.
We have had to get a lot better at communicating with each other, and I would say that’s the most important thing we have learnt to do when travelling together. Sometimes one of us is just having a bad day, and it’s all too easy to snap at each other. We have learnt to just say how we’re feeling before any feelings have been hurt. If Adam tells me he’s having a grumpy day, I know to leave him be for a bit, and not to rise if he makes a petty dig about something.
We talk when we’re feeling anxious or stressed, and likewise, we share when we’re excited and happy. We say immediately if we’re upset by something the other has done, and we talk it through rather than letting it build.
What’s the best part about traveling as partners? And the biggest challenge?
The best thing about travelling together is having someone you love to share every experience with. The amazing moments of travel feel even more amazing when there is someone by your side experiencing it with you, and sharing it with you for days after. When things aren’t going well there is someone to lean on. We can support each other through tough days, and help each other when we get into sticky situations.
The biggest challenge is remembering not to take each other, and travel, for granted. We spend every minute of every day together. I haven’t been away from Adam for more than an hour in over a year. That’s a lot of time to get used to someone being around! It comes back to communication, and being honest with each other if we aren’t feeling valued. Small gestures are just as important as the bigger ones, like letting them know you’re thankful for the cups of tea they’ve made you, or remembering to tell them how nice they look, go a long way when you’re travelling together full time.
We often think back to when we would travel together for a weeks holiday, and how much more romantic it was. Now that we travel full time, we sometimes feel like we don’t get a ‘holiday’. We have to make an effort to put down our phones once in a while and do something special together. We have to make time for each other. We have a fire on the beach, or drinks in a taverna, just something to make each other feel special.
Based on your experience, what’s the best advice you have for couples who have just scheduled their first trip together?
Don’t put too much expectation on it, just go with the flow and have fun!
Often the best memories from travel come from the things you don’t expect to happen, so be prepared for things not to go to plan, and look for the good in that. There will be times when you disagree, or don’t have anything to talk about. There will be times when something goes wrong and it feels stressful or uncomfortable. But that’s such an important part of building on the relationship.
Travel speeds up every day life as a couple. You learn more about each other, for better and for worse, and that ultimately will make you stronger. If you go with an open mind you’ll be better prepared to deal with the bad times, and far more open to those unexpected good times too!
Don’t forget to share the wisdom!
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